love life

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this . . .

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a wonderful vacation trip to Italy. You get a bunch of guide books and make all your plans. The Colosseum . . . the Michelangelo David . . . the gondolas of Venice. You get a book of handy phrases and learn how to say a few words in Italian. It’s all very exciting”.

“Finally, the time comes for your trip. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says:

“Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!” you say. “Holland? I signed up for Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy!

“I’m sorry,” she says. “There’s been a change and we’ve landed in Holland.”

But I don’t know anything about Holland! I never thought of going to Holland! “I have no idea what you do in Holland!”

What’s important is that they haven’t taken you to a terrible, ugly place, full of famine, pestilence and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you have to go out and buy a whole new set of guide books . . . you have to learn a whole new language . . . and you’ll meet a whole new bunch of people you would never have met otherwise.

Holland. It’s slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy . . .

But after you’ve been there for a while, and you’ve had a chance to catch your breath, you look around and begin to discover that Holland has windmills and Holland has tulips - Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy . . . and they’re all bragging about what a great time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I planned.” And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away. And you must accept that pain - because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But . . . if you spend your time mourning the fact that you never got to go to Italy, you may never be available to enjoy the very lovely, very special things about Holland.

“Welcome to Holland!”

by Emily Perly Kingsley

Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.

To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

Have you ever had one of these days? Everything going great and you are just going with the flow. The sun is shining, you do not have a care in the world and life is good.

Then someone says something, or does something or looks at you weird and everything goes straight into the toilet.

And it does not matter how big or little a thing was that happened, your serenity is just shot. Like I said, serenity to death row in 30 seconds.

Now, nothing is good in the world. Your boss hates you or your kids hate your or your best friend is gone, or your dog is gone. The things that have happened or are about to happen are now endless. And, it is all in your head.

I used to say that when ever my boss’s door was closed, he was getting ready to fire me. Talk about having a major ego problem. I was thinking that I was so important that I was the only thing or person that he was thinking about.

When something like this happens, it is time to get a different perspective on things. Get it out of your head and into the sane world. You need to talk to someone or write it down on paper.

By getting things out of my head and into the real world, my perspective does a major change. I can, sometimes, see how my thinking is totally wrong. I can see that my ego has taken me on another major head trip.

This is when it is great to have some good friends. I am not talking about just the guys (or gals) at work or the ones that you hang out with. They will probably have the same kind of messed up thinking as you are trying to correct.

No, I am talking about a “spiritual guide”. Someone that has their feet firmly planted on the ground. This person does not necessarily need to be a religious person but someone that is not prone to fits of fantasy. Not someone that will just validate any weird thought that you throw out.

I have heard that “my mind is a bad neighborhood to visit on my own” and that I need to have a guide with me when I visit.

This is just some of my thoughts to show you that you are not alone in this world. And to tell you that my life is as good as I allow it to be.

If this morning you were able to wake up and plant your feet on the floor, life is great!

No, I am not one of those rah rah cheer leaders. I am a realist.

Life Is As Good As I Allow It To Be

I have been truly blessed in my life in that I am one of those glass half full guys. A lot of my friends call me PollyAndy because I do not let a lot of things bother me. I am normally able to look at a situation and either see something good or know that something good will happen as a result.

In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, there is a statement that I keep in mind on a daily basis. “Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake”.

That tells me that there is a plan. That somewhere down the road, if not right now, someone will be able to gain some benefit from every situation in life.

So, if I walk thru my life looking for all the dark things in life, that is what will enlarge in my life. These are the type of things that will manifest in my world. What I concentrate on will become part of my world.

With this in mind, I choose to concentrate on the things in my life that are great.

For starters, I have some pretty awesome physical senses. When I go into work at dawn, I am aware that I have eyes to view the beautiful sunrise. When sitting in my backyard, my sense of hearing allows me to listen to the birds and wind chimes. When I sit down to dinner, my sense of taste kicks in and allows me to enjoy good food.

My prayers are statements of gratitude. I thank my Higher Power for the things that he has given me and the things that he has not allowed me to experience.

On the way to work when I see someone that has been forced to beg for food or money, my prayer is “Thank You, God”. I am not saying that I am better than this person. I am saying thank you for the fact that the circumstances of my life have not made it necessary for me to join that guy standing there with a cardboard sign.

This Is Not A Dress Rehearsal

We are living the only life that we have. This is not a test, not a dry run and next week we will be given a new life to live. So, lets make it the best life we can live.

Start living your life as the Best (fill in the blank) that you can be. Be the best father, son, mother, daughter, husband, wife that you can be, just for today. Each morning, think “today I will be the best (again, fill in the blank) that I can be”. Do this for a month and it will become a habit and you will not have to think about it.

And your life will become a life worth living. A life that you will be proud to share with others.

Remember, my life is as good as I allow it to be!