as good as I allow it to be

I was having a discussion with my son this morning and he asked me “what is serenity?”.

I have my own ideas but decided to look at the dictionary to see what Webster had to say. The definitions that I found are:

Serenity \Se*ren”i*ty\, n. [L. serenuas: cf. F. s[’e]r[’e]nit[’e].]
1. The quality or state of being serene; clearness and calmness; quietness; stillness; peace.

2. Calmness of mind; eveness of temper; undisturbed state; coolness; composure.

Some of may think that serenity is a state of bliss, a large amount of joy. But, from this definition, it looks as it is being alright with the world. It is knowing that “everything is alright already”.

This follows right along with the idea that “God is everything or God is nothing”. If he is everything, I am fine. If he is nothing, I am screwed. So, I choose to believe that he is everything and that he loves me works to my best in all ways at all times.

A friend of mine says that “if God is small enough for me to understand, he is not big enough to handle my problems”. If this is true, I must trust and believe that what he has in store for me is better than I could imagine or design on my own.

Wayne Dyer had a sister that was in a car accident and almost died. She tells him that while she was in surgery, she observed the discussion between the doctors trying to decide if they should put out the effort to save her life. She had an “NDE” (Near Death Experience).

He says that since she has recovered from her physical wounds from the accident, she can see the “big picture” and that nothing disturbs her. She can allow all the turmoil that may go on around to not disturb her serenity.

All of this goes into my definition of serenity. It is the ability to sit calmly and know that everything is fine as long as I get out of the way and let him do his work.

Life is as good as I allow it to be.

In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, there is a line that has given me great comfort in my daily life. It is talking about the things that are put before us and how we handle them.

The line states that “nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake”.

To me, this says that there is a reason for everything that goes on in my life. I am told that there are lessons to learn from everything and that I have choices as to how I react to these “opportunities”.

I believe that there are lessons to learn from the things that at are placed in our lives. But, the lessons that are to be learned may not be for us to learn. Maybe, it is a lesson that is to be learned by someone else. It could be that by going thru something with grace, another person can believe that they can do the same thing.

I have a friend that lost his daughter in an auto accident coming home from college for Christmas. He did not go crazy with grief and go off on the world. No, this gentleman came into our group of friends and talked about his grief. He showed me, and others, that we can go thru grief without destroying others and creating more grief.

I have also been taught that my mind sometimes cannot tell the difference between a tragedy and a miracle. An incident that happened in my life 20 years ago is a great example of this fact.

Something happened that, at the time it happened, I knew that my life had changed totally. I was at a crossroads and, depending on which route I took, life would be different.

Thankfully, even though I did not think that it would be a good choice, I took the route that has helped create a fantastic life. A life that is full and provides much joy and happiness.

Looking back on that night, I did not know what was in store but was able to take a route that would help my family and families of many other people.

So, I know that nothing happens in my life by mistake. And that life is as good as I allow it to be.

Have you ever had one of these days? Everything going great and you are just going with the flow. The sun is shining, you do not have a care in the world and life is good.

Then someone says something, or does something or looks at you weird and everything goes straight into the toilet.

And it does not matter how big or little a thing was that happened, your serenity is just shot. Like I said, serenity to death row in 30 seconds.

Now, nothing is good in the world. Your boss hates you or your kids hate your or your best friend is gone, or your dog is gone. The things that have happened or are about to happen are now endless. And, it is all in your head.

I used to say that when ever my boss’s door was closed, he was getting ready to fire me. Talk about having a major ego problem. I was thinking that I was so important that I was the only thing or person that he was thinking about.

When something like this happens, it is time to get a different perspective on things. Get it out of your head and into the sane world. You need to talk to someone or write it down on paper.

By getting things out of my head and into the real world, my perspective does a major change. I can, sometimes, see how my thinking is totally wrong. I can see that my ego has taken me on another major head trip.

This is when it is great to have some good friends. I am not talking about just the guys (or gals) at work or the ones that you hang out with. They will probably have the same kind of messed up thinking as you are trying to correct.

No, I am talking about a “spiritual guide”. Someone that has their feet firmly planted on the ground. This person does not necessarily need to be a religious person but someone that is not prone to fits of fantasy. Not someone that will just validate any weird thought that you throw out.

I have heard that “my mind is a bad neighborhood to visit on my own” and that I need to have a guide with me when I visit.

This is just some of my thoughts to show you that you are not alone in this world. And to tell you that my life is as good as I allow it to be.